Friday, May 13, 2005

The Social Leagues

Something I do all the time is constantly consider if women are in or "out of my league." It is almost an instinctive response to meeting someone new. Admitting I am at least partially shallow is not going to be a popular opinion, especially to women. I think my understanding that I myself am nothing to drool over gives me a little cover coupled with my honestly. Since I have come out and spilled the beans on the leagues, I have to ask, are these leagues all in my head, or do they have something of a non-formal and certainly flexible definition that none-the-less holds true?

Now, when I say "out of my league" most people are likely going to focus on appearance. I consider that a significant portion of what I mean, but most certainly not all the factors. Is that fair? Well, from my point of view it is not so much fair, it is something of a reality. Usually it is not what I think of others, it is what I assume they would think of me. That is the interesting part, does our opinion of others really only depend on how we judge ourselves?

No matter how much people want to avoid it, appearance matters. That sucks. It is horrible, but it is reality. It is a human reaction that is not going to change. In my own biased opinion of myself, I rank kinda-sorta average, maybe a little below on some factors and little above a couple of others. What is funny, I think, is that if polled, 2/3rds of people would view themself as average, whether they are or not. If polled secretly they may have a completely different view. Appearance is very subjective and often based on comparison and sample size. Just because it varies though, does not mean it is not valued.

Beyond appearance there are other factors to consider which are really what in the end matters: intelligence, wealth or class, maturity, age, personality, interests, cultural background, and temperament. There are other categories and other variations, but these are what come to my mind most often. Does anyone ever think that people are out of their league when it comes to personality or interests? Sometimes people might say that a smart person is out of their league, but not necessarily in the sense that they are better, just different. Difference is not always valued, unless it creates an identity people can relate to.

Beyond the normal comparison of supermodels and movie stars, are there really people out of your league? Do you walk down the street and say people who might share your same interests, intelligence, temperament are beneath you in social status?

What makes up social status? How much of it is based on appearance and how much is based on other factors? Is appearance ever not a factor?

What I think plays into this is the mystery surrounding what causes two people to be attracted to one another. There are common factors and conventional wisdom that seem to hold true, but then you see a couple together and can’t fathom how they are in anyway compatible. That seems not to matter much when you notice how happy they are together. As a single guy, I can't seem to fathom that kind of happiness.

What I will laugh at now is anyone who claims to be happy, but can't put into words that which makes him/her happy.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Don't be an idiot or your post will be deleted.