Thursday, April 14, 2011

Help The Governor: Tell Him What Is NOT Cool

In an effort to reach out across party lines, I will am making a 'sincere' effort to help Ohio Governor John Kasich Understand what is and what is not cool. He made it clear that he wants Ohio to be cool, so we can attract younger people to the state. (No this was not an Onion story) To make it easy, I thought I would point out a bunch of stuff that is NOT cool. These are random things, that I am sure he already knows, but just needs a little refresher.

Ok, so things that are NOT Cool:
  • Lawn darts
  • Driving a Hummer full of $4 dollar a gallon gas to the suburbs
  • Milli Vanilli
  • Zima
  • MySpace
  • Handguns
  • Lawn Jockeys
  • War
  • Banning same-sex marriage
  • American Idol
  • FOX News
  • Destroying the freedom for women to control their own bodies
  • Canceling a high speed rail project that would create 16,000 jobs
  • Making it more difficult to vote
  • Cutting funding for the arts
  • Pushing religion on others
  • Being anti-urbanist
  • Asphalt
  • Cul-de-sacs
  • Taking political revenge on Cites, like Cincinnati, for not voting for you
  • Revoking a grant to build a Streetcar project that would develop the inner city
  • Taking away the rights of Ohio citizens to collectively bargain
  • Being anti-public transit, especially rail projects
  • Mocking Portland, then praising Austin for basically the same reasons

So that's a start, what else can you share with the Governor to help him know what is NOT Cool.


  1. Milli Vanilli is soooo cool. You just don't understand.

  2. calling an Ohio Police officer an "idiot".

  3. frakking in state parks
    Jeff Ruby

  4. Oil wells. Nobody ever says "When I grow up, I want to work on an oil well"

  5. I gotta say this is my favorite story about Kasich.
    I'm just amazed at the balls this guy has. He kills the streetcar and rail and is trying to kill the casino and he wants young people to move here?
    Maybe casinos aren't cool, but I'm 34 and I enjoy them from time to time. I was looking forward to hitting a Reds game and then streetcar'ing it up to MOTR and then stumbling over to the casino.
    I'm being serious, those are three things I enjoy.

    Also, remember the Homerpalooza episode of the Simpsons where the tour bus made a u-turn upon entering Ohio.

  6. Nicely done. To be fair, though, you know what else isn't cool? Hearing this guy tell us in advance that he was going to do all these uncool things and voting for him anyway.


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