Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Eating Heart-Healthy in Porkopolis?!?

Is it even possible? I guess I'm going to find out.

For the first time in my life, I had my cholesterol level checked. According to the test, it's entirely plausible that there are bacon bits flowing through my veins and arteries.

Those of you who have met me are thinking, "Duh! Has the guy looked in a mirror in the past decade? What did he think his cholesterol number would be?" You're right, of course. But for a while, I've been operating in a world in which I didn't know with certainty that my cholesterol was high. And in that world, if I didn't know there was a problem, there really wasn't a problem.

Luckily, my doctor is a pretty restrained guy. Rather than whip out a prescription pad, he told me I was to start a "heart-healthy diet" and come back in four months for another blood test. And if the cholerestol level isn't better, he's probably going to follow me around, sprinkling ground Lipitor over all of my meals.

So now that I know, I have to face reality. And that means that my first trip to Five Guys (really more of a pilgrimage, made earlier today) will be my last. And my future gastric adventures involve lots of boiled chicken and salad. I'm trying to figure out if there's anything I can eat at this weekend's Panegyri Festival.

At least my blood pressure is OK. Somebody pass the salt.

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