Old News From FOX News
FOX has caught up with Cincinnati's now 3+ week old ordinance requiring panhandlers to register. I wonder if they will cover Pete's Rose's suspension from baseball next?

Early Democratic Presidential Primary Politics
Donald at All Deliberate Speed has taken the latest 2004 American Presidential Candidate Selector quiz.

My results were as follows:
1. Kucinich, Cong. Dennis, OH - Democrat (94%)
2. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (84%)
3. Gephardt, Cong. Dick, MO - Democrat (82%)
4. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (80%)
5. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (79%)
6. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (76%)
7. Lieberman Senator Joe CT - Democrat (69%)
8. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol IL - Democrat (66%)
9. Graham, Senator Bob, FL - Democrat (63%)
10. Bush, George W. - US President (4%)

I would have guessed I would have been closer to Dean or Kerry, not Kucinich and Sharpton. I am for the record not a registered Democrat, and I will not be participating in the primary for president. I like my status as an independent liberal. I think this selector is not very accurate in its classifications. I would like to see how a conservative placed.

Queen City Soapbox Back
Ethan Hahn has commentary on Bush, Vietnam/Korea, and Iraq.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane....No, It's a Bronson
Ok, I was close with my very prophetic quip about Peter Bronson bungee jumping. In Sunday's column Peter describes his experience in a WWII era fighter.

I tried to find someway to use the classic "Underdog" opening, but I just could not find a good rhyme with Bronson.

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!

Fascist
I seemed to have attracted a little attention from www.cincynation.com. I would only note this definition of "fascist" from M-W.com:

2: a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control

Last I checked when someone in power dictates what is considered "obscene", and then acts on that determination, I think using fascist as an adjective is most applicable.

The People & Larry Flynt Vs. Simon Leis
It appears now that a clear majority of local residents agree that the Flynts should be allowed to sell porn videos in their store in the county and that our fascist sheriff should not be pursuing his personal crusades against the Flynts, while hundreds or even thousands of crimes with real victims go unsolved.

Ms. SkyPunk
Maggie Downs has taken one small step for a columnist, one giant leap for all writer kind. I am impressed. That jump took guts. I could never jump out of a working plane. I don't even like roller coasters. I am amazed that Maggie has now become a skydiving enthusiast. She will be jumping from the Carew Tower in no time. She is already a virtually solo jumper, so people eating lunch on Fountain Square better keep one eye in the sky.

The video of her jump was funny. From the initial nervous tension to the Charlie’s Angels pose, a nice presentation. There was one major problem with the video, the soundtrack. I don't know who produced the video, or who chose the sound track, but it could have used some pumping up:

1. Prodigy's “Breathe” would have captured some of the tension.


2. ”Ride of the Valkyries” is always a crowd pleaser, and could have fit in as the plane took off.


3. The Foo Fighters' “I'll Stick Around” might have fit in.


4. Sly & The Family Stone's “I Want to Take You Higher” was simply a must use. It works on so many multiple levels.


5. Jimi' Hendrix's “Gypsy Eyes just sounds cool, and should be used more often on video soundtracks everywhere.

Over all, the soundtrack could have used a little more fun.

Speaking of music, I have a great idea for the Enquirer promotions department. I propose they produce a TV commercial for Maggie's column. The commercial would be a spoof or take-off of the Musical/Movie "Chicago" and use the song "Roxie" with Maggie doing a Broadway style number around the city. They would have to go full boar on the production with dancers, and a re-recording of the song, replacing "Roxie Hart" with "Maggie Downs" in the lyrics of the song. The syllables work out perfectly. They could start with a newsroom shot, cut to the baseball stadium, Main Street, Mount Adams, the Zoo, UC, and end up on Fountain Square. It would be classic. Think of the opening sequence of the "Drew Carey Show" using Cleveland, but just insert Maggie for Drew.

You don't think they would go for it? I think it would work. If Maggie can skydive, she surely can do a Broadway number.

I do have to ask another important question. Why didn't Peter Bronson or Laura Pulfer skydive too? I want to see Peter Bronson try bungee jumping.


Note: In case you wonder whom the original Skypunk was, read this report of his unfortunate death last year and his history here in Cincinnati.