Cris Collinsworth, a 1991 alumnus of the University of Cincinnati College of Law, has been named as John Madden's replacement on NBC's Sunday Night Football.
Perhaps an even more impressive honor for Cris: on May 10th, he will be the graduation speaker at UC Law's 2009 Hooding Ceremony.
UPDATE (4/16/09 at 7:00): Fifth word of the post corrected to limit the shame I caused my high school Latin teacher.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Free Legal Advice: A Corollary
A little over a year ago, I offered the readers of this blog some free legal advice:
Don't steal from theblind guy visually-impaired gentleman who runs the deli at the courthouse!
It seems that an addendum is in order. Here it is:
Don't steal the Hamilton County Prosecuting Attorney's lunch!
OK....so it apparently wasn't his lunch, but instead belonged to an investigator in the office. But it allegedly happened three times. Getting the munchies once is understandable, but three times? You're not working in a normal office, you're working for prosecutors. Did you think they wouldn't, after their food disappeared a second time, use their investigative skills to see why their pizza stash was dissipating overnight?
And you're right: at any other job, you'd be admonished. Maybe you'd even be fired. (This isn't exactly an employees' job market, if you haven't noticed.) But take a prosecutor's lunch, and you're going to jail.
On the flip side, it'd be fun to defend this case to a jury with exactly that thought: Ladies and gentleman of the jury: remember the last time someone took your apple or Coke from the office refrigerator? What do you think would've happened if you'd called the police and tried to press charges? We all know that when you stash your food in a communal refrigerator, you assume the risk that your food will be consumed by a greedy office-mate.
But come on, folks: is a frozen, microwavable pizza really worth the risk of prosecution? There are judges just a few floors up: wasn't there better food in one of their break rooms? And better yet, couldn't you just wait until the end of your shift to eat?
I hope this has been helpful in resolving any questions you might have about the legality and wisdom of committing theft offenses in the Office of the Hamilton County Prosecuting Attorney.
Don't steal from the
It seems that an addendum is in order. Here it is:
Don't steal the Hamilton County Prosecuting Attorney's lunch!
OK....so it apparently wasn't his lunch, but instead belonged to an investigator in the office. But it allegedly happened three times. Getting the munchies once is understandable, but three times? You're not working in a normal office, you're working for prosecutors. Did you think they wouldn't, after their food disappeared a second time, use their investigative skills to see why their pizza stash was dissipating overnight?
And you're right: at any other job, you'd be admonished. Maybe you'd even be fired. (This isn't exactly an employees' job market, if you haven't noticed.) But take a prosecutor's lunch, and you're going to jail.
On the flip side, it'd be fun to defend this case to a jury with exactly that thought: Ladies and gentleman of the jury: remember the last time someone took your apple or Coke from the office refrigerator? What do you think would've happened if you'd called the police and tried to press charges? We all know that when you stash your food in a communal refrigerator, you assume the risk that your food will be consumed by a greedy office-mate.
But come on, folks: is a frozen, microwavable pizza really worth the risk of prosecution? There are judges just a few floors up: wasn't there better food in one of their break rooms? And better yet, couldn't you just wait until the end of your shift to eat?
I hope this has been helpful in resolving any questions you might have about the legality and wisdom of committing theft offenses in the Office of the Hamilton County Prosecuting Attorney.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Mmmm, Doughnuts....
So the Enquirer has posted a letter from a woman who believes that the Postal Service's decision to make a Homer Simpson stamp is "highly objectionable."
I wonder if the author realizes that for the last several years, "The Simpsons" is the only network television show whose characters regularly attend church. And what does it say about television--and American religion--that this is the case?
I wonder if the author realizes that for the last several years, "The Simpsons" is the only network television show whose characters regularly attend church. And what does it say about television--and American religion--that this is the case?
Friday, April 10, 2009
Widmer Revelation: Deja Vu All Over Again
What is it with you people? What part of "don't investigate on your own" don't you understand? Why won't you listen to the judge when he gives you instructions? Did you think following his warnings was optional?
The Enquirer reports that in support of his motion for a new trial, Ryan Widmer's attorney has filed an affidavit from a juror in which that juror claims that other jurors conducted their own experiments to figure out how long it would take someone to air-dry after taking a shower. He also says a juror mentioned that there was water on the edge of the tub hours after she dried her child after a bath.
(For those of you who live under a rock or outside southwestern Ohio: last week, following a two-week trial and over twenty hours of juror deliberations, Widmer was convicted of murdering his wife by drowning her. The defense claimed that he was in another room while his wife bathed, and that she likely had a seizure while in the tub and slipped under water while unconscious.)
Jurors aren't allowed to experiment. But we also tell jurors that they don't have to leave their everyday experiences at the door to the jury room. So I'm not bothered that a juror might mention that she gave her kid a bath, and that the bathroom was still wet some hours later. That's part of your normal life experiences. We wouldn't expect a juror in a drunk-driving case to forget about his observations of drunk people in the past or forbid him from comparing those to a defendant in a police video. But intentionally experimenting to try to figure out a body's air-drying time? That seems--to me, at least--off-limits. And it might mean a do-over for Widmer.
If a court agrees that a new trial is warranted, it wouldn't be the first time a Tri-State verdict in a high-profile case was set aside because of jurors' actions. One of the most famous instances of juror experimentation took place over a quarter-century ago following the first civil trial regarding the Beverly Hills Supper Club fire. The case is included in law school texts on civil procedure. As you might recall, the plaintiffs (represented by Stan Chesley) argued that the fire was caused by aluminum wiring in the restaurant. Following testimony on this issue by the plaintiffs' expert, a juror went home and checked out his own, similar wiring. When the plaintiffs appealed their loss, the federal Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals ordered a new trial, writing:
I don't know if what happened in the Widmer case rises to the level of what happened in the Beverly Hills trial. Maybe a body's drying time is part of one's ordinary experiences. But here's a tip: if you're on jury duty and selected for a trial, don't conduct your own experiments; decide the case based on the evidence presented in court. You'll save everyone a lot of time, money, and anxiety.
The Enquirer reports that in support of his motion for a new trial, Ryan Widmer's attorney has filed an affidavit from a juror in which that juror claims that other jurors conducted their own experiments to figure out how long it would take someone to air-dry after taking a shower. He also says a juror mentioned that there was water on the edge of the tub hours after she dried her child after a bath.
(For those of you who live under a rock or outside southwestern Ohio: last week, following a two-week trial and over twenty hours of juror deliberations, Widmer was convicted of murdering his wife by drowning her. The defense claimed that he was in another room while his wife bathed, and that she likely had a seizure while in the tub and slipped under water while unconscious.)
Jurors aren't allowed to experiment. But we also tell jurors that they don't have to leave their everyday experiences at the door to the jury room. So I'm not bothered that a juror might mention that she gave her kid a bath, and that the bathroom was still wet some hours later. That's part of your normal life experiences. We wouldn't expect a juror in a drunk-driving case to forget about his observations of drunk people in the past or forbid him from comparing those to a defendant in a police video. But intentionally experimenting to try to figure out a body's air-drying time? That seems--to me, at least--off-limits. And it might mean a do-over for Widmer.
If a court agrees that a new trial is warranted, it wouldn't be the first time a Tri-State verdict in a high-profile case was set aside because of jurors' actions. One of the most famous instances of juror experimentation took place over a quarter-century ago following the first civil trial regarding the Beverly Hills Supper Club fire. The case is included in law school texts on civil procedure. As you might recall, the plaintiffs (represented by Stan Chesley) argued that the fire was caused by aluminum wiring in the restaurant. Following testimony on this issue by the plaintiffs' expert, a juror went home and checked out his own, similar wiring. When the plaintiffs appealed their loss, the federal Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals ordered a new trial, writing:
Our decision to reverse is most regretfully made, as the length of time it has taken to reach it may suggest. The trial was generally a fair one, vigorously and effectively presented by able counsel before a skillful and experienced trial judge who cannot be faulted for the events which have occasioned the reversal. We are mindful of the trial judge's observation, earlier stated in an unpublished opinion of this court, that "[e]xperience teaches that while every additional day of trial increases the possibility of error, it correspondingly reduces the risk that any single error may have prejudicial effect upon the ultimate result." Nonetheless, the recited facts of the improper experiment and its use in the jury deliberations are too compelling and too fraught with potential for prejudice to be ignored. [Internal citation omitted.]
I don't know if what happened in the Widmer case rises to the level of what happened in the Beverly Hills trial. Maybe a body's drying time is part of one's ordinary experiences. But here's a tip: if you're on jury duty and selected for a trial, don't conduct your own experiments; decide the case based on the evidence presented in court. You'll save everyone a lot of time, money, and anxiety.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Miami Wins, Makes Final Game!
Miami Hockey is in the championship game after a victory over Bemidji State in the Frozen Four.
Way to go Miami!!!!!!!!!! Repeat after me:
Love and honor to Miami,
Our college old and grand,
Proudly we shall ever hail thee,
Over all the land.
Alma mater now we praise thee,
Sing joyfully this lay,
Love and honor to Miami,
Forever and a day.
Way to go Miami!!!!!!!!!! Repeat after me:
Love and honor to Miami,
Our college old and grand,
Proudly we shall ever hail thee,
Over all the land.
Alma mater now we praise thee,
Sing joyfully this lay,
Love and honor to Miami,
Forever and a day.
Neckties for the Stars
I'd encourage you to enter this contest, but frankly, I'd rather you didn't: I'm trying to elbow my way into a group date that'll include Kate the Great and Red Kat Blonde (even though they're trying to pretend as if Kwame Jackson is the top draw).
And 5chw4r7z: don't think I haven't noticed that you entered twice.
And 5chw4r7z: don't think I haven't noticed that you entered twice.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Dems Council Endorsements (Almost)
Via Facebook, the Democratic Party endorsements for City Council are:
Council Members: Laketa Cole, Jeff Berding, Greg Harris, and Cecil Thomas
Candidates: Wendell Young, Laure Quinlivan, Nicholas Hollan, Tony Fischer and Bernadette Watson
UPDATE: I jumped the gun a bit. This is the recommended slate of candidates that still must be approved .
Council Members: Laketa Cole, Jeff Berding, Greg Harris, and Cecil Thomas
Candidates: Wendell Young, Laure Quinlivan, Nicholas Hollan, Tony Fischer and Bernadette Watson
UPDATE: I jumped the gun a bit. This is the recommended slate of candidates that still must be approved .
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