There He Goes Again...

Larry Gross has decided that CityBeat's annual "Best Of" edition is the perfect opportunity to engage in one of his favorite pastimes: ragging on Cincinnati. Given that Mr. Gross no longer lives in the city, his constant efforts to lob stones across the river at us seem more than a little unseemly. In fairness, he raises (perhaps!) one good point. But most of the rest seems to be part of a pretty tired refrain that he can't seem to shake himself from. So let's take a look at what Mr. Gross "misses" about Cincinnati:

I miss healthy downtown activity at night. I moved here in the early 70’s and I can remember downtown being packed at ten o’clock at night. There were people everywhere and it felt like a big city.
I miss feeling safe. 20 years ago, I would never have a second thought about being downtown late at night, because there was traffic. Now, I’m looking over my shoulder constantly.

Has he been downtown in the past three years? I live down here. I can tell you--there's lots of "healthy activity" at night. There are lots of people around most nights. Yes, things can get a little quiet in January and February. But that's because it's cold. People don't want to be on the street. And as for safety? Where and when does he need to "look over [his] should constantly"? Three in the morning? Probably. Before midnight? I routinely walk around downtown at night, and don't feel the need to do that. And I'm pretty much a wimp.

I miss the live television. It was such a staple in Cincinnati for so long. Ruth Lyons, Paul Dixon, Nick Clooney and others kept the city busy with people wanting to get in to see the shows and it was great for downtown business.

Umm, OK. I miss Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr. Well, not really--I'm not old enough to. There is no live, local entertainment TV anywhere anymore. I miss penny candy, too. And lawn darts. Damn you, Cincinnati, for not having lawn darts!

I miss having restaurants that are affordable. Once upon a time, you could have lunch downtown at a reasonable price. Not that I’m a fan of fast food chains, but if a person was on a budget, most of those chains were downtown. Now, unless you want to go to Skyline, you’re looking at close to ten bucks for lunch.

Here, he's got some problems with his definition of "reasonable." I miss being able to buy gas for two bucks per gallon, but that doesn't mean Cincinnati's a bad place because I now pay close to four. Even at Skyline, you'd be hard-pressed (if you sit down and eat) to spend less than five bucks for lunch (unless Mr. Gross hates waitresses as much as he hates Cincinnati). Read Chris's (of Cogitatio) excellent rejoinder. And to Chris's list, I'd add the following places to get an inexpensive lunch: Subway (since we're lamenting the end of chains); Gondola's; Fred and Gari's; Red Fox; Balboa's; Jimmy John's; Sports Page; the All Rise Cafe; Cafe Barista; Cafe Martin; and Silverglades.

I miss winning sports teams. I remember The Big Red Machine days and even when the Bengals would win. This was a sports town. Now we have new stadiums down by the river and teams that are losers.

This is still a sports town. If you don't believe me, wander downtown next Monday. You won't have to look hard for fans. And the Big Red Machine played in a "stadium down by the river." It was called Riverfront.

I miss going to the movies downtown. It was fun to catch a show, then walk to a restaurant afterward to get a bite to eat. Now I have to get in a car and go to a Showcase Cinema? To me, that’s not fun.

This is the only valid point Mr. Gross makes. I, too, wish we had a movie theater downtown. But he could walk over to Newport on the Levee for a movie before dinner. Oops, he can't--he's too busy looking over his shoulder to walk anywhere downtown.

Let me stop here before some start saying I'm throwing a wet blanket on the week.

Too late.

Free Legal Advice

I don't usually offer legal opinions here at the Cincinnati blog. People don't really read this blog for that. And besides, with a co-blogger who's a "biglaw" partner, I wonder if my place isn't to be seen and not heard with respect to the law; I should just stick to streetcar posts.

But there's a complex legal issue that's risen recently in Hamilton County, and it's one that people seem to have a hard time understanding. So I thought I might be performing a public service by offering the following advice:

Don't steal from the blind guy visually-impaired gentleman who runs the deli at the courthouse!

I know it's tempting. After all, those Hamilton County sheriff's deputies you saw on the way into the building must be a good 20 or 30 feet away; surely you can outrun them. But there's some problems. You know the other people working behind the counter? Turns out that they're not blind. And that big thing, right behind the counter about fifteen feet up on the wall above the cash register, that looks like a camera? It's--well, I know it's surprising, but it's a camera. And it's connnected to some sort of VCR or DVR. And you know all those people who have been in the news, caught stealing from the deli? Like this woman? Or this one? Or this couple? Or this guy? Well, if you're thinking about stealing from the courthouse deli, you're probably not smarter or better at being a thief than they are. Which means you'll get caught. That's what happened to this woman earlier this week. (Sorry. The last woman allegedly stole from the deli.)

And by the way, maybe you've got some experience with the criminal justice system. So you're thinking to yourself that theft of a small amount of money or food is a misdemeanor. The worst that could happen, you're thinking, is some time in the Justice Center. Another problem: in Ohio, theft from an elderly person or a disabled adult (like a blind man running a deli) is a felony. You can go to prison. For a year. Ouch. All for a couple of bucks and a licorice twist.

I hope this has been helpful in resolving any questions you might have about the legality and wisdom of committing theft offenses in the Hamilton County Courthouse.

We're #4!!!!

CityBeat's Best of Cincinnati is out, and Cincinnati Blog came in fourth for reader's pick for best blog.

BuyCincy.com came in first and if you haven't checked out their blog, do so now! They are doing great work promoting local retail!

Policing the Police

There's two noteworthy items regarding the current dust-up between the City, Chief Streicher, and the officers he disciplined for goofing off while on duty. The first is from City Beat's Kevin Osborne. He takes an anti-Streicher approach. The second is an editorial in this morning's Enquirer, which sides with the Chief.

The last few months have been, frankly, terrible for the Cincinnati Police Division. The "highlights":

• In December, Chief Streicher was taken to the mat by City Council for failing to spend about two million dollars allotted for overtime for extra foot patrols. (Porkopolis)
• CityBeat revealed that the Chief used about $125,000 in non-budgeted funds to renovate the second floor of police headquarters, where the Chief's office is located. (CityBeat)
• Officer Patrick Caton was promoted to the rank of sergeant. (Cincinnati Blog)
• (Ex)-Officer William Simpson pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual battery, charges that arose from conduct that took place while he was on duty; Judge Cooper told him that he had "violated the trust of everyone in the city" and sentenced him to six months in the Justice Center, pursuant to a plea agreement. (Enquirer)
• Officers were accused of goofing off in a substation; supervisors were accused of not doing enough to stop it; Chief Streicher issued discipline; and the City substantially reduced the sanctions he imposed.
• Officer Clayton Neel pleaded guilty (after a trial had started) to tampering with records for allegedly intentionally misplacing paperwork pertaining to an acquaintance's OVI arrest, but then withdrew his plea. (Enquirer)

Cincinnati police officers do a dangerous, difficult job for which they aren't thanked enough. But something has to be done to change the headlines that are being generated by the CPD. The good work the officers do--which comprises, by the way, about 99.8% of their total body of work--is getting drowned out by all this other noise.

What's the answer? A change in CPD leadership (should the City, for example, offer Streicher a buy-out that would be difficult to refuse)? Should we just chalk this up to a city that is all-to-eager to criticize its police? Something in between?

Hulu is the Devil!

Some time ago, when I first embarked on a solo law practice, I was spending a great deal of time working from my home-office. The problem with that is that it was too easy to find distractions at home to keep me from doing the less pleasant tasks of lawyering. The TV was a particularly devilish distraction. Finding my willpower to be lacking, I made a radical decision: I called Time Warner and had the cable disconnected.

I very rarely work from home anymore; I'm almost always in my comfy office a few blocks from where I live. But I found that I haven't missed the cable enough to warrant having it reconnected. Once in a while, though--say visiting parents, or staying in a hotel--I'll find myself in the midst of a cable TV binge, watching hugely inordinate amounts of CNN, ESPN, and Deadliest Catch. (Oddly, the thing I often miss is Citicable and the ability to watch those whacky councilmembers in action!)

Earlier today, I was engaged in that ultimate procrastination event (websurfing) and checked in on Kate the Great's blog (a great blog--if you're not reading it, you should be, after, of course, you read the Cincinnati blog!). Kate's re-posted something from her archives (a post I'd not read before). I'm not sure why she chose this one in particular, but it turns out that Kate, too, is cable-less, but she's found a remedy: Hulu. It's a site that has both current and "classic" shows available for on-demand streaming. Offerings include shows from Prisonbreak to Lost to WKRP in Cincinnati.

Hulu, if its usage is not carefully monitored, is a terrible, terrible productivity-slayer. In fact, it's the devil. The devil, I say! And Kate is the devil's helpmate! (Of course, I guess I'm no better, spreading the word of mindless diversion even further across the blogosphere.)

My favorite thing to watch right now? Emergency! Bah.

Short Delay of Streetcar Vote

First a note to everyone: this delay is not a big deal. Two weeks is not a big deal. What this gives is time to get the 7 in favor of street cars to agree. The main lone wolf on this issue is Qualls. I believe she wants streetcars. Her approach to transportation is a different one. 6 votes are there now, along with the Mayor, that will get the Bortz plan through. I think the 6 want Qualls on board, so this delay helps that. This is a chance for people to NICELY let Council member Qualls know their views.

I believe I understand Qualls' long term view. The problem is that she is taking what appears on the outside to be an all or nothing long term view. I disagree with that stance. I want a long term all encompassing transportation plan. The trouble with that approach is that it goes far beyond Cincinnati City Council. Any wide transportation plan requires the county and the tri-state metro area to come together. I don't see that happening any time soon. Meanwhile, the City needs the streetcar soon. In the end Roxanne Qualls I believe will vote in favor of the final streetcar plan. Dealing with the anti-streetcar members of council are not winning her many fans, and is losing her many. She has clearly lost much of the good will she had banked after winning her seat last November.

Best. Haircut. Ever.

So lately, I let my hair get too long. Not just rough-around-the-edges long, but unruly, unprofessional, insists-on-curling long. So it was time to go down the street to the barber.

Fausto Ferrari is one of those throwback barbers. You know, the kind of place where a man should get his hair cut. The kind of place where the barber still uses scissors--quickly and well, by the way. And the kind of place where one can still find a straight razor. The Enquirer profiled Fausto a few years ago.

The best part? The brief rubdown (head and shoulders only!) with a vibrating hand-massager.

Altogether, a good way to start the week.