OSU Students Prefer To Be Above The Law

The Enquirer prints an AP story that reports that some OSU students who were arrested for underage drinking are upset that they were arrested for committing a crime.

For illegally sipping beer on the morning of an Ohio State University football
game - she's 19 in a state where the legal limit is 21 - [Chelsea] Krueger was
handcuffed, loaded in a police van and hauled off to jail for six hours.

Her sentence, following a guilty plea: a $50 fine.

The article doesn't mention the possible penalties. In Ohio, underage consumption is a first-degree misdemeanor. That means the possibility of 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Apparently, Chelsea was upset about the fact that she was locked up with the common riffraff during her quarter-day period of dentention (presumably, the time it took for her to be processed and her spoil-her-rotten parents to post bond):

As prostitutes ran their fingers through Krueger's hair and told her how pretty she was, she couldn't help question her situation. "They're putting the wrong students in jail," said the sophomore from Westchester, N.Y. "The people who should be more harshly punished are the ones putting themselves in dangerous situations."

First of all, the story about the prostitutes running their fingers through Krueger's hair sounds more than a bit apocryphal.

But Chelsea's defense is the one that lots of criminal defendants offer: go catch the "real" criminals. Lawyers and police officers hear it every day. People at traffic stops tell police to go catch people committing more serious offenses. Some people caught possessing drugs (from marijuana to heroin) will say that their crimes are nonviolent, and thus not worthy of prosecution. Some of the prostitutes who touched Chelsea would probably tell you that they're not hurting anyone, and that they just offer a service to men who want to make use of it (and some would claim that they actually save marriages in the process).

The point is: if you break the law, you run the risk of being punished for it. It doesn't matter if you're an indigent defendant caught with less than a gram of crack (for which you could serve twelve months in prison), or a spoiled rich brat from Westchester getting tanked before the Buckeyes game. If you don't want other people (police, prosecutors, and judges) to have the power to alter the course of your life, don't give them that power.

The go-catch-the-real-criminals defense almost never works. And neither does whining.

Jesus' Birth Was Virginal, Not Premature (Warning: Grinch-Like Post Ahead)

Every year, we're told by our various media outlets of a baby Jesus figure being stolen from a nativity scene. This year, we heard that same old news at least twice: once when it happened in Mason, and once when a Cincinnati attorney donated a replacement Jesus for a suburban Miami creche. (I'm not sure why he didn't just replace the Mason Jesus and save himself a long-distance phone bill. I suppose he wouldn't have gotten himself on CNN for doing that.)

I'm sick of hearing these stories.

Blaming the victim is usually wrong. But these nativity-scene owners are at least partially to blame for the kidnapping of Jesus. If they had just held to tradition, baby Jesus might still be safe and sound. It always used to be the case that the baby Jesus figurine/statue/what-have-you wasn't placed in the nativity scene until Christmas Eve. Until then, the manger sat empty. Tradition is a good thing a lot of the time. Displaying a completed nativity scene prior to Christmas Eve is (in my opinion) one more symptom of a general failure to remember the "reason for the season." (The Miami Jesus was stolen sometime before December 5, for you-know-who's sake.) The act of laying the Jesus in a manger on the night before Christmas helps to focus our attention on the religious nature of the holiday. A nativity scene shouldn't be an accessory to a Christmas tree and plastic reindeer (or worse yet, one of those awful inflatable globes with a scene inside).

In fact, every time I drive past a nativity scene with a prematurely-displayed Mary's child, I fantasize about stealing it, only to surreptiously return it late on Christmas Eve. Stealth, however, has never been one of my gifts, so I have no doubt that I'd be caught either taking Jesus or giving him back. With my luck, I'd probably be tased before being taken into custody.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Happy Festivus, et al

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and a belated Joyous Solstice to you!

Food, Glorious Food

The only thing new in this article on the effort to get a full service grocery store in Downtown are the quotes from Council member Roxanne Qualls.

Bearcats 31, Southern Miss. 21

O Cincinnati magic name
I proudly to the world proclaim
No sweeter name e'er charmed my ear
None to my heart was e'er so dear;
A fountain of eternal youth,
A tower of strength, a rock of truth.

Varsity, dear varsity
Thy loyal children we will be,
Thy loyal, loyal children we will be!

The Bearcats won their bowl game for their first ten-win season in 56 years; Team Lachey came through Thursday night; can the Bengals make it a Cincinnati trifecta on Sunday?

New Year's Eve: Where Are You Going?

CityBeat has their guide (pdf) to what is happening on New Year's this year, and Zipscene's NYE page has some of the bars with deals.

The Know Theatre has announced their NYE bash as well.

CSO is having their annual NYE Concert.

CSL is having a party at the 20th Century.

Cincinnati Victorious

That's something you haven't heard much this year.

OK. I'll admit it. I watched the finale of "Singing With the Stars," or whatever it's called. It was pretty good TV. And Nick Lachey's team won. The Enquirer's early coverage is here.

I'm pretty sure that a lot of people assumed Patti LaBelle's team would win. I know I did. I don't mean any disrespect to Lachey by that--say what you will about boy bands like 98 Degrees, but at the end of the day, Nick's a very talented singer. But Patti LaBelle is . . . well, Patti LaBelle. Lachey's choir, though, really put it together, from what I could tell by the live performances tonight and the clips from the past few days. (The vocal rendition the choir did of Flight of the Bumblebee was particularly imnpressive, I thought.)

In fact, Tracy Morgan (who NBC had announce the winner, in order to promote his new movie--yeah, that's right, now he's got his own movie) was so sure he'd be calling Patti LaBelle's name, he didn't bother to make sure he knew how to pronounce "Lachey." (Morgan thought the winning team's name was "lake-ee".) He tried not to pronounce it at first, just pointing and saying "this team over here. I think someone must have whispered to him to read the name.) I have to admit, I got a chuckle out of that. Five minutes too late, you could hear him yell, "Lachey" correctly. It was hilarious.

During the show, LaBelle announced that she's going to do at least one more performance (on New Year's Eve) with her choir. I hope Lachey follows suit. He seemed guininely moved by the experience. And it's not as if he's got anything better to do--none of his former bandmates are running for office right now, and he doesn't seem to be able to compete with Tony Romo in the romance department.

Sorry, that last bit was a little snarky. Congratulations to the outstanding group of Cincinnatians who got together for a good cause. And a big thank you to Nick Lachey, for making a Cincinnati team competitive on television. And I do hope we see Lachey and his choir singing somewhere again soon. They're entertaining.

Next year: Lachey replaces Marvin Lewis; Bengals go 16-0.