Brains.....Brains

A CT regular, let's call him "Bill," came up with a very interesting similarity with Mel Gibson's Movie "The Passion of the Christ" and the new remake of the "Dawn of the Dead." I did not write this, so don't blame me for it. You can just blame me for publishing it. Here is what he wrote:

Some friends had mentioned that 'Dawn of the Dead' had unseated 'The Passion of Christ' this past weekend as the top grossing box office movie.

And I thought, Wow, two hits in a row about dead people. Wait a minute. That's not quite right. That’s TWO BOX OFFICE HITS IN A ROW ABOUT THE UNDEAD. Movies about the undead, really seems to be a hit for moviegoers this movie season, but who can blame them for their insatiable appetite for blood and gore.

What am I talking about? It’s obvious, Christ was dead and then he came back from the dead. I think that definitely meets the definition for undead.

But wait, there’s more! Both groups strongly advocate the eating of flesh. Both groups hold the promise for life after death for followers.

Early followers were known to hide out in the catacombs. Coincidence? I think not.

The bible is strewn with references of his undead nature. The parallels are uncanny. Christ brought Lazarus back from the dead. Miracle or midnight snack? You decide!

5000 people, 5 loaves of bread, 2 fish – How did he feed them all? It’s not hard when you are undead.

Average person needs 2000 calories/day
Average person eats 3 times/day
Average requirements for 1 meal = 2000 Calories / 3 =
667 calories per meal
Average weight of human brain = 3 pounds
Calories for 1 pound brain = 503

# Lunchables = TotalPeopleAliveOrUndead - #Undead
X = #Undead

Solve for X!

#Undead * CaloriesRequirementsPerUndead = (TotalPeopleAliveOrUndead - #Undead) *AvgBrainWeightPerPerson * CaloriesPerPoundOfBrain

X * 667 Calories = (5000 People – X) * 3 lbs * 503 Calories

667 / 3 / 503 * X = (5000 – X)
.442 * X = 5000 – X
.442X + X = 5000 – X + X
1.442X = 5000
X = 3467

#Undead = 3467
#Lunchables = 5000 People – 3467 Undead = 1533 Lunchables

You can consider the bread & fish an appetizer.

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This is crazy you say? I think not! I found proof in the Bible! Everyone knows the living dead just love to eat brains. Look at these passages below.

1 Peter 5:2 King James Version
"Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;"

Biblical speak for “More Brains...”

Romans 15:6 King James Version
"That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

See! God wants you to eat brains.

Philippians 2:5 King James Version
"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:"

Christ is cool. He shares his lunch.

Ezekiel 23:22 King James Version
"Therefore, O Aholibah, thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will raise up thy lovers against thee, from whom thy mind is alienated, and I will bring them against thee on every side;"

Sounds like a scene of night of the living dead to me.

- - - - -

Whew, all that made me hungry. I think I’ll go grab a bite to eat now. I’ll catch you later.

And remember, the next time I am slowly shuffling up the aisle for communion, I will be thinking the same thing you are... “More Brains...”

To Contact "Bill" you can email him at morebrains2004@yahoo.com.

Oh the Humanity

The Richard Clarke Character Assignation has just really gone too far. I understand BushCo needing to defend itself. Fine. It is fruitless how they are doing it and only Andy Card, WH Chief of Staff, did it in a politically viable way, just brushing off Clarke's allegations as sensational book promotion. That is wrong, very wrong, but it would have passed the smell test if everyone from BushCo did that. Instead Rice makes spurious claims, then Cheney out right lies, now Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist has gone off the deep end. Josh Marshall posts on Frist's unsupported and bogus grandstanding tactics on the Senate floor yesterday. I was sickened most by Frist's attack on Clarke for apologizing to the victims and families of the 9/11 attacks:

In his appearance before the 9-11 Commission, Mr. Clarke's theatrical apology on behalf of the nation was not his right, his privilege or his responsibility. In my view it was not an act of humility, but an act of supreme arrogance and manipulation. Mr. Clarke can and will answer for his own conduct - but that is all.

Clarke did the honorable thing and accepted responsibility. No one in the Bush administration took responsibility or apologized for not doing a better job. That human trait, humility, is void from this Administration. Mr. Frist should be asking why a retired member of the Administration had to publicly admit he was part of the government that fail the American public, but the President refuses to admit that he and his people did anything wrong or made any unwise choices. No one can hold Bush legally liable for what happened, but if I am the person in charge, the Buck stops with me. For this Administration dodging blame is not only part of all appointee's job descriptions, it seems to be becoming the only thing they do.

Simple Yet Elegant

Jeff Stahler from the Cincinnati Post hits the broad picture well:

My only beef, they tried to discredit him, they have not succeeded and infact are becoming even pettier and bigger liars.

Bad, Bad Joke

A joke is a joke, and if Bush had previously made the admission that we are not going to find WMD's and then taken the heat for that, then he would not have gotten the level of criticism for his joke currently under way.

What this shows to me is yet another example of the arrogance this President possesses. He seems to just not really care what has become obvious about him, that he openly misleads the public to get what he wants done, and cares not about the ethical implications of his actions, especially on his claims to change the tone and bring "honor" back to the Oval Office. This man has no honor. He is a ruthless Pol bent on keeping power at nearly any cost while still pushing his selfish and "nothing to see here" policies.

Ok, got that off my chest. This tasteless joke will get a little play, but the media will ignore the implications of it and how much it really says about the Iraq war and Bush's attitude about it.

If commenters are going to give me grief about Clinton and his "honor," save it. Clinton never claimed as center point of his Presidency the goal of bringing honor back to the Oval Office. Bush did that and I believe deserves my scorn.

I normally don't really care about the personality of the President, as long as it does not affect policy. In this case I see the personality and policy merging into a Smog Monster type blob that rides in Air Force One.

Cincinnati Flirting (With disaster?)

DoYouFlirt, a new non-profit organization bent on changing Cincinnati's image as one of worst places to be single, has really turned on the charm by landing two media stories this week: Maggie Downs and Donna Covrett.

Here is the problem with this group. They want to improve life for singles, but their purpose seems to be making it easier for single people to find dates, thus no longer being single.

Who's Freedom?

The Enquirer's Editorial states: 'Under God' no risk to freedom. I have to ask who are they talking about? If they mean it does not hurt their freedom, they are right. It hurts my freedom. I am the person who can not get elected to public office in the this county, not because of my race or gender or because of my ethnicity. I can't get elected because I have no religion.

I am offend at their closing line "If the words "under God" offend you, don't say them. It's a free country." I say then, if I want my kids to say the pledge in class, yet adhere to the beliefs I have, they can't. They can't invoke their patriotism. They can't join and united in a pledge to defend the county because the country the Enquirer editorial board wants is one where everyone is a monotheists and the rest are just tolerated and left out of the public discourse.

Guess what folks: You can say the pledge any way you want on your own time, on public time, leave religion out of it.

Discussing what a religion is with some people is difficult when they can't or are not willing to understand a person without any religion. When I say religion, I mean belief(s) in a god or supernatural creator.

Also, no, I don't have kids. I was using a rhetorical device.

Wimps

From the Enquirer's News Briefs: WEBN apologizes for airing clips

Radio station WEBN says, 'We blew it.' Their 'Throw out the first bitch' contest using Reds announcer Marty Brennaman's voice without permission was 'an unfortunate lapse of judgment' and 'crossed a line which many might consider 'bad taste,' ' the rock station's Web site now says. The text of the ad has also been changed, to 'ditch your witch.' A station spokesman said apologies were also being made on the air to Brennaman, who called WEBN to demand they stop using clips from his Reds broadcasts.

Ok, apologizing to Marty was required, but changed the name from bitch to witch? What a bunch of wimps. They have literally lost their balls over at WEBN.

I still wonder if this whole cracking down by Clear Channel is not just some big stunt like when WLW's Cunningham was "suspended" the same week he happened to be on vacation.

Bronson's story could have been handled with the same facts listed from his article if he had just taken out the Eddie Finger's reference. The above brief gives us the summary of the incident as news, not adding in the irrelevant and irrelevant personal comments.